Five Years of Sweetness

I see a fire in this boy that tells me he's going to make positive changes. It's not an inferno or a flicker, but something in between. It's a slow, steady burn.

Today is Maxwell's fifth birthday. I still smile when I remember how hard I fought for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) during my pregnancy with him and how proud I was to actually do it. Shrek and I were told it would be optimal for our second babe to be born during the business day while all hands were on deck in case I had to go to a C-section. I was pushing by 3:30 or 4, but feeling awfully sick, tired and weak. Shrek got right in my face, and said, "Let's do this, baby. We gotta get this baby out!" At 4:59 p.m., right on time, Maxwell David came into the world, and we all cried.

Since then, I've learned that my firstborn boy can be incredibly sweet. He's also shown the "Shrek" side of himself, but if we keep him fed, juiced and well-rested, it can be managed. While he has always been very emotionally intelligent, it's just been within the past two months that he's also become extremely interested in numbers, letters and putting pencil to paper. Like a light switch flipped, our Max has gone from barely coloring to writing out his own, very neat birthday list, which he insists hang on our fridge with the "5" magnet from the Leapfrog set.

He's a friend to all. He has one speed, and it is not fast. Daddy says he wishes he could ever be as cool as Max, who saunters through life with natural blond highlights in the summer, a carefree look on his face and a "hockey smile" with only one front tooth.

He's crazy about Transformers, Power Rangers, Monster Trucks and.... baking. He's awesome with the baby and indifferent to what he wears. He's an amazing little man, and I am so enjoying watching him grow up.

Happy birthday, baby boy! You are a huge part of mommy's sunshine and one of her favorite reasons. I love you so much, it hurts.

Take Me Out

Every now and then, life reaches a fever pitch. Nothing major is happening in my corner of the world, but I can't catch up, can't get enough sleep, can't feel like all is well. (But it is.)

This week brings seven ballgames. Yes, seven. Lily (and her cousin Julia) are rocking it out on the softball field. Max (and his cousin Jud) are cracking us up on the T-ball field. It's fun being ball parents, but I'm ready for summer to start looking more like summer as far as the calendar goes. The rushing around needs to go away...


I'm also needing some sleep. I had a late campfire Saturday and a late night last night as well. My morning and evening commutes were both very sleepy today. And now, here I am, doing it again, pushing 11 p.m.

So this isn't a masterpiece, but it's life. So take me out, coach, I'm not ready to play.


Momma needs a short nap. And a chimpanzee butler. And a wife. (Somebody whose sole ambition is laundry...)

Summer State of Mind

I'm not the kind of person that can come home to a messy house after work and flop onto the porch swing. I leave this house nearly everyday in a blaze of glory. That is to say, if I can get most of what we need, my four kids and myself out the door, I do it, even if the house looks as though it's been hit by a cyclone. When you see the open door, run!

In spite of my need to always be cleaning, sorting and looking for the next crisis, I've been trying to dial back my efforts to finish what will never be done. Several friends' Facebook statuses have tugged me into a place of awareness lately. One talked about how she was laying on the trampoline, looking at the stars and listening to her kids run and catch lightning bugs. Now doesn't that sound like summer?! The other had a photo of her youngest in a laundry basket with the caption, "The laundry will always be there, but I won't always be little."

It is so true.

I look at Luke and try to remember my other kids at this stage. I nuzzle his sweet Baby Magic-smelling head and swear I'll never forget it. But I will.

So it's my responsibility, as mother and unofficial Roberts family summer cruise director, to come up with activities to not only make these days fun but to make these days lazy and memorable. I have to juggle, to be sure, in order to get anything done, but I will remember the beauty there is in doing nothing.

Kids are the royalty of summer. They do summer so well and so naturally. In spite of the fact that I used to be a kid and a summer queen in my own right, I've grown up. But my vow is this: while I still have to go to work, I'll loosen up about bedtimes and ice cream everyday. I'll let the dishes go, when I can. I'll devise more impromptu swimming trips. I'll run through the sprinkler and allow the kids to have more lemonade stands than the local economy cares to support.

I can hardly wait for tomorrow morning's iced coffee, but first.... I'll sleep in my warm bedroom with the cool fan and a sheet.

Because it's summer, and I'm in a summer state of mind.

Love in Child Form

It's been said that babies are a wonderful way to start people.

It's true. Babies are really wonderful. I've always been a baby person. As one of the older grandchildren, I spent many nights with my aunts and their newborns. At 14, I mothered like you wouldn't believe. I've always found my peace in babies, in spite of the stress and havoc they can cause. I guess it's not surprising that I ended up with four of my very own.

Our young friend Ava, who has been battling a brain tumor, has found peace in Luke. While my other children have befriended her and taken care of her in their unique ways, Luke has also unknowingly found his niche in making her world a better place. In February, fresh from Disney World, Miss Ava came to the house to meet Luke. It was love at first sight.

Four months have passed since that time. Our baby has grown up a bit, and Miss Ava has continued to do what she does best: she's changed the community one person at a time and continued to brave the ups and downs of her condition.

One of the highlights of my weekend was watching Ava hold Luke again with her daddy's help. There were smiles and giggles. Pure love in child form.


I've been thinking that if we could all just see each other the way kids do, we'd be in a better place. We wouldn't see the past or the future, or the divisions we create.

We'd see that we're all gifts from God, with our own talents to bring to the table. We'd see that a four-month-old can make someone else's day just by his presence. We'd see that living well trumps living long.

Ava has shown so many of us that we can't be defined by the ways in which life is unfair. We can't dwell on the flat tire, the petty fights with our families or friends, the good fortunes of others in our own times of struggle. She's shown us to see each other for what we are: imperfect, yet precious; different, but the same.


Ava is a warrior and a teacher. She both loves and fights like a girl. She has lived her life out loud and has been heard by so many. Ava is love in child form.

Tonight, I lift her in prayer and stand on her behalf. May God hold her in the palm of His hand.

Happy Birthday, Dear Blog!!

Yesterday was my birthday, but today it's the blog's turn. Happy 1st birthday, baby blog!! You've grown so much in one short year. It's a celebration, to be sure, that this blog is still kicking, still claiming its real estate on the World Wide Web. It will not fall to exhaustion, depression or disrepair. "These Are My Reasons" is still a great title with worthwhile content and fantastic readers. Thank you all for hanging on my every word. You make me feel like we're all in this together! Please stay posted for change. I'll be relaunching soon, and there will be plenty of opportunities for you to help me out!

Life. It's real tonight. I'm crippled by its beauty, its ugliness and its unpredictability. Who could have known we'd all be in the places we are now? I pined for children, and now I have them crawling everywhere, making dirty laundry faster than I can believe and eating me out of the house, but with all good things like string cheese, ham, apples and endless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "Yes, Max, yours also has butter..... Yes, Max, I know you don't want it folded up. .... Yes, Max, there's butter under the peanut butter and jelly....."

Sometimes paradise wears a funny face. Don't be blind to your own.

I'm having serious trouble keeping my eyes open. The night promises to be long with kids with ear aches. This might not be the best post, but it is what it is, right? I'm happy and grateful to have been able to write it. I've said it before and I'll say it now, life is beautiful just the way it is.

Peace...

Sweet Summertime

We're still quite worn out from the weekend, so here are a couple of snaps and updates of the kiddos to keep you company until Momma finds her words....

Our girl finished up school today! She was named one of first grade's star students AND the best "girl citizen" in her class! We are so proud of her! Pictured here with her is the one and only, amazing Mrs. Starkey, who enjoyed her last day of work today. Thanks, Mrs. Starkey, for shepherding so many kids through first grade at Waterford, including Lily and her momma! You will be missed, and we aren't just saying it to be nice... (And thanks to one of my village mothers, Rachel, for the great photo!)


Mr. Max is so ready for his birthday, which is in about two weeks. He has gone from barely wanting to color to actually writing out a list of the toys he wants for his big day! He's still quite the chef. Here he is licking the spatula after making strawberry banana smoothies outside on the deck a couple of weeks ago.


Colby enjoyed his birthday at the lake this past weekend. It's official! We've got a bona fide two-year-old on our hands. He's as rotten as he is cute. He is really good about letting us put on sunscreen, which is a good thing, seeing as how we applied it six times yesterday...


Finally, baby Luke is doing well. He's amazing in all ways. We are so happy he's a good camper. He loves being outside and did well in the heat this past weekend. Here he is with Mammaw Debbie, who wants to eat him up for his cuteness. Mommy told mammaw she thought she wanted a red-headed girl to even out the bunch, but now she knows Mr. Luke is what she wanted all along!


Blessed night to you. June rushes to greet us in a few short hours, and then, for me, it will be official. Summer will be here, all my chicks will be in the nest, and I'll be fighting heat, nap times, "town" traffic and more to help make awesome memories for my kids!

Strings of Youth

"I was planted on this earth just after the seeds of tomatoes." This is an actual first line from a poem I wrote in college. I don't have the whole thing in front of me now, but it wasn't as terrible as the first line might make you believe. Tonight, I'm thinking a lot about summer and family and of my college days. I have been reading a journal from 1997, my sophomore year, 4 Coss, for those of you that might remember. Some of you were there.

It's a big camping weekend, and I'm ready to spend some quality time with the amazing people God gave me for an extended family. I'm ready to meet a new little cousin, toast two others as they graduate high school and join us adults in "real life," and to celebrate Colby's 2nd birthday. I'm ready for a drink around the campfire, a barbecued chicken off the spit and my morning coffee out of my signature giraffe mug in my dew-covered giraffe-print mud boots. (I promise, it's a sight.)

I love these mild mornings that eventually end in balmy nights. I can't wait to see my first lightning bug (or firefly, for you proper folk). I want to join the kids in throwing their glow sticks into the dark night just to see where they fall. This is summer; this is Lake Tweet; this is my life.

While I'm ready for all of this, I am subdued in that I am aching for friends who want it too. Some friends are lonely for family. Others are not happy in spite of their big houses and fat salaries. One special family is fighting childhood cancer this very second.

Yet, somehow, I am blessed. Although I am about to celebrate yet another birthday, I am reminded of the last line of my poem, which was really about coming of age: "The strings of youth held me softly and did not break."

Have a blessed holiday weekend...