Tuesday, May 17, 2011
No Use Crying
Nope, not me. I'm not crying over forgetting to take breast milk to the sitter's house, wasted gasoline, liquid creamer all over the kitchen floor, a $119 speeding ticket or Lily getting on the wrong bus and coming home to an empty house. No, there is no use crying.
I did almost cry when I had a nice moment with a coworker this morning during which she asked me what God was telling me and I said, "To hang on."
And I did almost cry when I heard my crying girl over a neighbor's phone today, sobbing from hearing her mommy trying to reach her on the answering machine but not remembering, in the moment, that in order to talk on our new phones, you press a green button and not the center button.
I knew this year would be hard. First years with new babies always are. And guess what? This year is hard. Really hard. (Really.)
I'm fighting the urge to make changes... I won't make changes. I'll hang on and roll with the punches. I'll push on, and, soon, I'll look back to see the progress I've made.
And if I can keep this perspective, just get through the not-so-hot days, cherish the good days, and see that most days are both, at any given moment, I'll come out of this crazy thing a better person. I know the weather will improve--hopefully before we all grow fins--and these days will be infused with the Vitamin D I've been needing.
And there's no use crying. Unless, of course, I need to. Then I will. But no, not now. I'm good. =)