Give Me Twenty Minutes!

It's amazing what a mom can do in twenty minutes!

Say a mom wakes up at 7:15 and the bus comes around 7:38. A mom can sneak out of bed, leaving the two-week-old sleeping, gather up the rest of her kids, get her seven-year-old dressed, remember it's picture day so fix seven-year-old's hair, fix said kid's breakfast and shove her out the door.

Then that mom might forget it's a morning the four-year-old goes to preschool. When she does remember, twenty minutes before preschool starts, she can call a ride, get four-year-old dressed, sign 17 Valentine's on behalf of four-year-old, pack a lunch, gather up homework, and then switch gears to change the 20-month-old's poopy diaper, one that is so messy that a mere couple weeks ago would have meant bath time but currently just means baby powder and a fresh diaper. Before that 20 minutes is up, she can even pull her warm-again coffee out of the microwave and sit down for another nursing session with the newborn.

So far, since we've been home with baby #4, we've only had a handful of mishaps, like when Max peed his pants, was told to dress himself and then somehow got all of his body parts in the wrong holes of his underwear. Colby got into sissy's purse and used her brown lipgloss to paint a bandit mask on his face and into his eyes. And Lily? Well, she's amazing as long as we make sure she gets enough sleep, which we haven't been doing.

But life is good and full and busy and wonderful. Here's a snap of our Luke, who was two weeks old today on his actual due date. He is doing well, and so is his momma.

Jaundice Be Gone!

Oh, my dear readers. What a week! It has been one of unexpected twists and turns, and I am so behind on so many things that it's overwhelmingly not. Does that make any sense? I have reached a point in my life and in my motherhood where I know my limits. That is to say, I see where I want to be and I accept where I am. Blogging has waited for me, as will many other things.

My Luke has had a harder week than I have. He's been undergoing light therapy for jaundice. Together, he and I spent seven days and six nights in the hospital over the course of eight days. I'm happy to report that my little man is quite the trooper. His feet look as though little ninjas have had their way with him, to the point that his daddy says his feet must be so sore that "he won't walk for days."

It seems Luke suffered from breast milk jaundice. He's steadily gained weight, almost reaching his birth weight again at only a week old. But something about the combination of his liver and my breast milk has caused his body to hold on to bilirubin, making him a bit on the sunny side.


I cried at times, as did he, but we're here now, on this side of the mountain, with more perspective than I could have guessed. As a veteran nursing mom, I was surprised by this new challenge. But, as my sister said, I have now passed the jaundice test.

This morning's blood draw showed his level just shy of goal. While we were permitted to return the bili-blanket to a home health care company, we have one more lab visit and stick tomorrow morning. I have come to believe that our new pediatrician is more conservative and cautious than most, but, in this day and age, I will not bemoan a doctor who cares too much but instead appreciate the level of care my Luke has been blessed to receive. Still, it is my sincere hope that this will be the end of it, and that we can finally, truly settle in at home as a family of six.


Many of you already know about my week, because I've been able to stay in touch on Facebook with my new Droid, which I think is sometimes smarter than I am. Alas, I have been so thankful for that thing. It allowed me to stay sane when staying sane was hard to do. I texted my sis and my hubby in the middle of the night, downloaded a stress-relieving Yahtzee app, researched jaundice at all hours and stayed in touch with friends and family via Facebook and plain old telephone calls.

To all of you who have thought of us, said a prayer, made a meal, watched a child of mine or more in the past 12 days, THANK YOU. It helped.

In spite of the C-section, the multiple hospital stays, missing my other kids and being at the mercy of never-ending lab results, I feel remarkably grounded. This is my element. If I am anything, I am a mother.

I'll slip sometimes and have bad days. But I'll lead my family through thick and thin, and I'll do it with confidence, pride and joy.

With any luck, I'll get more sleep than I did last night, more peace than I had last week at this time and more wisdom than I ever dared to believe I'd need.

Because this motherhood gig is a crazy ride. But I'm in it for life.

Welcome, Lucas Anthony!

Here's our little man, Lucas Anthony Roberts! He is now five days old and doing well. We had a pretty good birth experience. It was not my best, by far, but it ended with a healthy momma and a healthy baby, and, for that, I am ever grateful.

Let me tell ya, it got a little scary in there! Lucas's umbilical cord was wedged between his head and the bottom of the uterine wall. While I dilated to nine and he tried to engage in the birth canal, his oxygen and blood supply were repeatedly cut off, causing alarming drops in his heart rate. Long story short, this champion VBAC mother (with two successful attempts) ended up in her second Cesarean section surgery. It was not ideal, and I was very upset at the time, but most of that was fear that I wouldn't deliver a healthy baby boy, while I certainly did. All my thanks and great love to the OB team for making the right decision when it needed to be made!

Here's a shot of Shrek and I getting our first glimpse of our little Luke.


I felt ROUGH at the time of the surgery but was lucky to have both my husband and sister in the operating room with me. They were such an awesome support team! Here's a photo of me with Luke after all my worst fears were dashed and my final, healthy babe was placed in my arms!


The kids had to wait until the next day to see him. They were thrilled with him both at at hospital and at home.


Unfortunately, Luke and I landed back in the hospital yesterday afternoon because of his bilirubin levels. I was quite surprised, as he is nursing well and none of the other kids have had trouble like this.


Suffice it to say that between the C-section and the looonnnnngggg night alone with Luke in the hospital, this mother warrior has risen. I am tired and recovering. But I surprise even myself with what I am able to do.

There's so much more to say, as I'm sure there will be countless times over the next few months. But, if you'll excuse me, I must go shower, catch a bit of sleep and nurse my new babe as much as possible so that we prevail victorious at tomorrow's follow-up bilirubin check. It feels very good to have all of my chicks in the nest here at home.

These are my reasons, and I couldn't be more proud!

Birth Eve / Truths

Today I learned that pedicures at home with three children are better than pedicures at salons. Seriously... I got the job done, stayed relaxed through the whole thing and made some awesome memories. Don't believe me? Check it out...





And now that I have posted photos of the boys getting pedicures, I'll post one of me, with morning hair, no make-up and the "Big Belly" as Lily started to call me tonight....


A couple more truths for you tonight:
- I'm due at the hospital in eight hours.
- When I rocked Colby to sleep tonight and sang a couple choruses of "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always / As long as I'm living, My baby you'll be," I cried.
- I'm ready. I'm only a tad nervous, mostly because I'm so close to go time, and knowing I need a bath, a journal and a good night's sleep.
- I have faith that all will go well, that God will be by my side.

Goodnight and Godspeed, little man!

It's the Final Countdown

So we're in Final Countdown mode around here. However, since I've been nesting for a good month, we're ready for game time. I have decided, though, that the longer you have, the more you do. There are always more bills to pay, laundry to beat, toenails to paint. My to-do list the past two days has been slaughtered. Tomorrow, I relax. We'll head to a second birthday party for my niece Brooklyn tomorrow night, and it will be "go time" before we know it!

I've had fun playing with my new phone--a Droid Incredible--the past couple of days. Wow, kids. It really is amazing what today's smart phones can do!!! So this is good news for you all, with your picture-hungry eyes and your natural human curiosity to know as much as you can as soon as you can. (I know the feeling.) We'll be posting photos and maybe even blog posts from the comfort (discomfort?) of our hospital room.

I also have to remember to shoot one final video of the Roberts kids while their number is still three tomorrow night. And it's always incredible to look back on one last moving image of the amazing belly that the final weeks of pregnancy bring.

Soon, I'll be breathing through it, keeping my eye on the prize, and then nuzzling a new miracle.

See you all on the other side!

The Blessing of a Girlfriend

Today is my best girlfriend's birthday. Happy Birthday, baby girl!

I am thankful that 31 years ago a four-pound preemie made her early entrance into this world. I'm thankful she was a fighter and did well and grew up to play saxophone with me in the band. Saxes are sexy!

I'm so thankful for all the inside jokes. Take the bull by the horns!

I'm happy for so many memories of drinks shared around campfires at Lake Tweet. For that one blessed year that we lived together at 36 Morris Avenue and the funny times we spent on the roof.

I'm so glad to know the blessing of a best girlfriend.

For all the times we've had, the discussions we've shared, the times we've saved each other from ourselves and all that is yet to come: happy birthday, sweetheart. I love you! I am elated your day has been so happy.

January just might be a good month for a birthday after all...

Courage, Serenity and Wisdom

Another snow day... We finally escaped the house tonight for a trip to the mall for dinner and so the kids could play in the new play area. And, of course, another necessity trip to Wal-Mart. (It's always something!)

I have a lot of friends, mostly fellow mothers, who are sick of the snow. I'm in a tempered state of acceptance right now in my life, where I don't really allow myself to will anything away. Maybe it's the whole "waiting-on-a-baby" mode I'm in: I'm trying to be patient, ready and serene so that when it's my time, I'll be strong and in the moment.

So... I'm trying to keep my sanity, keep my voice down, keep my chicks happy and calm. I'm in the limbo of feeling done with something and yet knowing I should soak up its finality.

Here are some snaps of how we spend our snow days.





Oh, and here's a shot of Colby and his lookalike cousin, Brooklyn Jane, who--if God doesn't decide otherwise--will graciously share her birthday, 1/27, with my last babe.


Thanks, sweetie!!