Monday, February 7, 2011

Jaundice Be Gone!

Oh, my dear readers. What a week! It has been one of unexpected twists and turns, and I am so behind on so many things that it's overwhelmingly not. Does that make any sense? I have reached a point in my life and in my motherhood where I know my limits. That is to say, I see where I want to be and I accept where I am. Blogging has waited for me, as will many other things.

My Luke has had a harder week than I have. He's been undergoing light therapy for jaundice. Together, he and I spent seven days and six nights in the hospital over the course of eight days. I'm happy to report that my little man is quite the trooper. His feet look as though little ninjas have had their way with him, to the point that his daddy says his feet must be so sore that "he won't walk for days."

It seems Luke suffered from breast milk jaundice. He's steadily gained weight, almost reaching his birth weight again at only a week old. But something about the combination of his liver and my breast milk has caused his body to hold on to bilirubin, making him a bit on the sunny side.

I cried at times, as did he, but we're here now, on this side of the mountain, with more perspective than I could have guessed. As a veteran nursing mom, I was surprised by this new challenge. But, as my sister said, I have now passed the jaundice test.

This morning's blood draw showed his level just shy of goal. While we were permitted to return the bili-blanket to a home health care company, we have one more lab visit and stick tomorrow morning. I have come to believe that our new pediatrician is more conservative and cautious than most, but, in this day and age, I will not bemoan a doctor who cares too much but instead appreciate the level of care my Luke has been blessed to receive. Still, it is my sincere hope that this will be the end of it, and that we can finally, truly settle in at home as a family of six.

Many of you already know about my week, because I've been able to stay in touch on Facebook with my new Droid, which I think is sometimes smarter than I am. Alas, I have been so thankful for that thing. It allowed me to stay sane when staying sane was hard to do. I texted my sis and my hubby in the middle of the night, downloaded a stress-relieving Yahtzee app, researched jaundice at all hours and stayed in touch with friends and family via Facebook and plain old telephone calls.

To all of you who have thought of us, said a prayer, made a meal, watched a child of mine or more in the past 12 days, THANK YOU. It helped.

In spite of the C-section, the multiple hospital stays, missing my other kids and being at the mercy of never-ending lab results, I feel remarkably grounded. This is my element. If I am anything, I am a mother.

I'll slip sometimes and have bad days. But I'll lead my family through thick and thin, and I'll do it with confidence, pride and joy.

With any luck, I'll get more sleep than I did last night, more peace than I had last week at this time and more wisdom than I ever dared to believe I'd need.

Because this motherhood gig is a crazy ride. But I'm in it for life.

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