Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Beg, Steal or Borrow

Let's see. Where to start? Busy weekend, a two-year-old with a stomach virus, a ninth anniversary...

I won't go into detail about my weekend, but it was crazy, hectic, fun and stressful. I relied often on the kindness of others, particularly in deference to my children. I got to see a ton of great friends, had my best night this summer around the campfire and witnessed an amazing 30-plus degree change in the weather. This is September in Ohio!

I give the weekend an A. Today? Maybe a B. In spite of a sick toddler and a cranky, teething baby, I rolled with the punches. I remembered both in my gut and in my head that my place is here at home, raising my little people to be good people. I consoled, cleaned and comforted. I'm content.

I spent some time reflecting on my marriage. Today is the ninth anniversary of the day I said "I do," and it has been just like any other day. I specifically instructed Shrek not to send me flowers. We had dinner here, in between four kids needing a million things. He's tired and off to bed, no shared wine or Scrabble tonight, like I thought we might. But it's okay. It's marriage. It ebbs and flows, and, sometimes, you get what you put in. And we had a couple of sweet looks in there that said, "Happy Anniversary, baby.. can you believe the kids we made.... I know you're still the hottie I married..."

When I think about my relationship with my husband and how far we have come, I'm really just amazed at the perspective I've gained in nine short years. I really have grown in the way I think about things, the way I regard my husband, the way I perceive our everyday push and pull. I can't even imagine the perspective changes that occur in people who manage to stay married twenty, thirty, fifty, seventy-five years! God willing, we'll be one of those couples, with enough wisdom to write a book, or at least guide the young people in our lives to see marriage for the gift it is, the burden it can be and the many shades in between.

My advice after nine years? It's worth it. Shop well, marry the best you find, work through the problems, be selfless. It's like life: it isn't always fair, but it's worth it. Beg for forgiveness if you have to, steal kisses whenever possible and borrow the time it takes to make it work.

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