I Remain

I have to admit that I haven't been feeling very "bloggy" lately. While this isn't expected, it's also not a surprise. When there are so many irons in the fire, it's understandable that one might just glide right off the page at some point. This happens often, but I remain.

I have been off on vacation all week, and I am living every moment of it. Some of my favorite times are early morning, as my children all rise. I welcome them to my bed to snuggle for awhile before that first trek down the steps. The K-cup is my reward at that point, and our days lazily unfold. Today, two of the five children I spent my day with (mine plus my lovely niece, Julia) met their daddy at the door in pajamas when he arrived home from work at 5 p.m. Besides the fact that this is living, this is right, Daddy said, and it's true, "It means less laundry!"

I am a homebody. I can keep myself pretty happy and fulfilled with the constant cleaning, cooking, dishes, laundry. I am in that happy stage of motherhood where I occasionally sit down to nurse that beautiful baby on the couch. I have a perspective I couldn't have dreamed to find years ago.

I also have blessings beyond belief--most of them in human form. I have spent many evenings and days with my extended family this holiday. There have been mouth-watering meals, too many snacks, lots of funny conversations and board game shenanigans that caused me to smile and laugh so hard that my cheeks hurt. Again, I say, this is living, this is the way it should be.

And so, who needs to blog at a time like this? I'm going to keep living it up the next four days. And, by living it up, I mean changing dirty diapers, breaking up fights among my children, washing my dishes by hand three times a day, but also enjoying that shopping trip with my mom, welcoming dear friends to my home for games and drinks and festivities, joining extended family to ring in the new year and loving on my amazing hubby and kiddos.

My vacations don't take me to the beach or Europe or on a Carribbean cruise. They simply take me to a simpler life at home: one where I'm not calling in favors to care for my children, not being a slave to the clock to hit my targets, not worrying about a million details that won't matter in a week, let alone in a year, a decade, a lifetime.

Nope. My vacations are of the less extravagant variety. They show me what matters, what is real, what is right.

They prove to me that, in spite of it all, I remain.

So This Is Christmas

Merry Christmas! We've had another blessed holiday around here, save for a couple of babies with strep throat and some other selected, but small, crises.

It was a good time, and I'm still orienting myself to this very day and hour (is it true that 2011 is nearly over?!?), trying to get all the technological devices we got for Christmas functioning, and eating WAY too many lovely holiday sweets.

And it's still Christmas in my mind . . . But my eyes are crossing. So here's a family photo and a promise to blog again soon!! And a toast, if I may, to more food, family, laughter and love!

Can't Wait

My mind is a melting pot. I have so many random thoughts right now that there is no way I'll nail this post. It's Christmas, mild weather, sick babies and contacts that feel as though they have been glued to my eyeballs. It's a house that's clean enough, gifts that are ready enough and laundry that is done enough.

I'm elfed out, I think.

It is kind of neat to sit back and relax for so many days ahead of Christmas. Not months ahead, mind you, but just days. That's a good, happy medium. And I'm so glad I created that cushion of time because I spent most of today nursing and carrying Luke, who is feeling quite crummy with a fever virus of some kind. From the looks of it, Colby has a touch of it too.

So my last day of work for 2011 that was supposed to be tomorrow might instead turn into yesterday. The fresh pine swag I still wanted to create for my banister may just have its day next year. And there's no reason why I can't tuck tissue paper into those stockings to help fill them out.

Oh, and the weather? I'm still hoping for those snow flurries. But whatever the weather, the state of this family's health, the true filling of those stockings, in less than four short days, we'll celebrate Christ's birth. I'll be a hot mess trying to get all six of us in church finery on Christmas eve. I will be throwing ingredients into my basket for the family party. I'll be up late with the hubby getting the place just so for Santa's arrival after helping the kids set out cookies and milk for the big man and carrots for his eight reindeer.

And then, short hours later, I'll be scrambling to ready the cameras, turn on the Christmas morning music and, maybe, even get a creamy cup of coffe in my hands before the magic begins.

And I can't wait.

All is Calm

An old snap of Lily, who is more excited about the snow than I am!

Dude, why is it always 11 p.m.?

Not really, but I can't seem to stop at night. I'm always doing "one more thing," no matter what time of year it is and what day it is. I had an amazingly productive and enjoyable day off yesterday and a more relaxing and family-oriented day today. Next up is church and a huge family Christmas party tomorrow. I love this time of year.

And I love this moment...

This one, right here. My beautiful live tree winking at me from across the room; my handsome hubby snoozing on the loveseat and some dumb movie on TV (ok, that could be improved); four kids dreaming of presents, binkies, milk, whatever it is that makes each of them happy; and the thinnest, sparkliest, most beautiful dusting of snow covering the earth, the trees, the roofs and decks outside. FINALLY!

There are so many out there who don't have this. And I hurt for them.

I hurt for those who are lonely (which is different from being alone), for those who are abused in all its many vicious forms, for those who are hungry for food, for comfort, for friends.

I'm not so idealistic that I don't realize this thin blanket of snow is a thin blanket sucking the body heat out of those who desperately need that body heat to survive outside when shelter is hard to find. I know there are some out there who not only don't call their relatives friends, but don't call on them at all. I know there are parents hurting for lost children, parents who would give anything to have that chance to smooth the brow of their sleeping son or daughter just once more. There are neglected and abused children who don't know that the world is bigger than the hell that is their homes.

And for all of them, I pray. I wish them all this moment, or one very similar: A moment where all is calm and all is bright.

Weekend Kickoff

Aww, little man!! This photo was taken this morn after a very fitful night. Poor Lukey's face was wet with tears, slobber, snot, what have you. He is not well. And wow, are we tired!

Alas, this night threatens to be worse, and I must hit the sheets. Tubes are scheduled, thank goodness. I only hope little man is well enough to actually get them. No nursing after midnight per the doctor's orders. So the whole house just might be up for a rockin' party later.

Once we get through this tube business, we're going to have the best Christmas-y weekend: gingerbread party, tree hunting, tree decorating, church, family choir practice, "kitty-chasm" (Max's pronunciation of Catechism), and the Santa Train! I feel like a kid again.

Now, if I could just get this Elf on the Shelf to actually help out...

An Elf and All Kinds of Magic

It's that time of year. The magic is starting to happen around here. We have a new tradition. His name is Alexander McGee, and he is an elf. He has already brought great joy and mischief in three short days, and we look forward to having him as a wacky, exciting houseguest through Christmas.

What will Alexander do next? If I only knew!


I am in a much better place than I was the last time I posted. I got that break I needed. While it wasn't nearly long enough, it was enough. I haven't been sleeping enough, either, but I've been on mother pilot for some time now, and I am doing just fine.

I've worked hard this past week to get a jump on shopping and other holiday prep. Nineteen days out, I feel pretty good. I think I'll be able to stay out of stores most of those 19 days, which is awesome. Except for having to work (boo), I'll be able to stay home, bake those cookies, deck these halls, rear these children and enjoy the spirit of the season.

I think I'm also going to read this sweet letter a couple more times....


Is it me, or is this December just roaring along? I'm half expecting a friend to call and invite me to a swim party somewhere. This weather is crazy, and it has me confused. My subconscious is blinking hard and fast, and I'm hoping to feel on the right page soon!

While I'm doing that, I thought I'd share some more snaps from the crazy, blessed long weekend that was Thanksgiving...

A beautiful baby....



A beautiful family... (missing a crying Lily and featuring Shrek in full game face)



And last, but not least, a beautiful bride, a beautiful friendship, a beautiful memory!



Stay gold, my friends. And happy festivus!

More Than an Heirloom To Me

My mom and Randy: first cousins always after 30 years apart.

Many of you know how much I value and cherish my family. I am quite certain that I would not be the person I am without the family I have. They are the color in my life and the people with whom I know I'll wish I spent more time with while in my final hours.

This past weekend, there was something of a Christmas miracle in my mom's family. One of her first cousins, Randy, has been pretty much lost to us in California for the past thirty years. He hadn't even seen his parents, my great aunt and uncle, for more than 22 years. In fact, he told me there was a period of 15 years when he didn't even talk to his mom! How does a story like that end?

Well, for him, it ended--or is it began?--like this.

It's been years of struggle with many different evils for Randy. In the recent past, he's been triumphing over these demons, getting back in touch with his parents and debating as to whether or not he could make that trip back home. A stranger overheard his lament, told Randy she had frequent flier miles built up and that they were his for the taking. She wanted him to go "home," if only for a visit.

And so, on Friday, after 22 years, my aunt and uncle welcomed their firstborn and only son back home. On Sunday, he met our extended family, many of whom he'd never laid eyes on before. He prayed, ate, unwrapped gifts and listened to old family stories with us. And we welcomed him with incredulity and open arms.

He also got to enjoy a "concert" from the Strahler family singers. Our last song was Amy Grant's "Heirlooms." And, I, at 8 months pregnant, knew I'd get choked up. I struggled the whole way through and am proud to say I missed only the last line.

"My precious family is more than an heirloom to me."

And now, photos of my own very immediate precious family, and of the Christmas activity we've been up to in just the past week!


The Roberts Family, 12/19/10


Lily and Max with their first Christmas gifts of the season.


My little man Colby looking so spiffy in his vest and tie.


Lily and Max with their homemade Froot Loop sprinkles, which were intended as teacher gifts. (Max ate his the next day....)


The four-year-old Rutter cousins, after their hilariously enjoyable preschool program.


Our beautiful Lily and Julia after their school Christmas program during which Lily was selected to play the triangle and Julia, the xylophone.


Me, momma-to-be-again, at 8 months pregnant. I am still chugging along!

Springing Baby Jesus

The Roberts family has a confession: We unintentionally prevented our own Baby Jesus from being born into our nativity scene last year. Not only that, but poor Baby Jesus has been estranged from his family for a whole year now! While the rest of His family was packed up and stored in the basement, He was left alone, but with us, in the dining room.

Let me explain!

As is custom in my family, we don't place Baby Jesus in the nativity scene until Christmas Eve. I've started my own little tradition with my family that we videotape the ritual of the kids singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus in our Christmas Eve Mass finery as we place him in the barn with Mary and Joseph, the Wise Men, the angel and the animals. It's a great way to show the kids the true reason for the season -- that, more than anything, Christmas is about Christ's birth. It's also extra special for me because I'm lucky enough to be using a wooden nativity scene hand-crafted by my dear late Grandpa Strahler.

Well, last year, there was a bit of a snafu. We did our traditional trip to visit Shrek's stepmom Christmas Eve morning. Our trip ran a bit long, and we were in a hurry to get ready for our afternoon Mass, during which I sang with my family. When we got back home for a respite before the Christmas Eve party at my aunt's, Max was super whiny. He'd fallen asleep and woken up a bear, which isn't altogether out of the ordinary for him.

So we were hurrying a bit, gathering food, Christmas PJ's and the like, and I remembered we needed to do our traditional birthday party for Baby Jesus. Camera? Check! Kids in finery? Check! Baby Jesus.... Baby Jesus? Well, He was (and still is) easily viewable inside the glass window of the china cabinet. But, where was the key???

After a search, we found the key, broken into parts by one of the Roberts kids.

Sadly, there was no way to birth our very own Baby Jesus.... He was kept in limbo, the Blessed family waiting. And the Roberts family was sheepish. Poor Baby Jesus! To be stuck in the china cabinet on the night of his birth! To have the Wise Men ready with gifts and to miss His moment to shine!

But, then Max puked on his finery, Mammaw Donna offered to stay home with him and the rest of us went on our way for Christmas Eve tradition.

Annnndddddd? Well, It's been a year.

Baby Jesus is still in the china cabinet. We found a skeleton key that didn't work. But I hear a rumor that the local Ace Hardware has a skeleton key for sale. And today's mission, in an abstract thought in my brain, was to go buy that key and, hopefully, spring Baby Jesus.

Alas, the morning was busy, the afternoon a long choir practice, and then? I crashed. I felt green around the edges, landed on the love seat and didn't get up until I realized my kids were so hungry that even Colby was fetching his own string cheese out of the fridge. Shrek was away, hunting his one wife-allowed day of the "extra deer hunting weekend." (Really? REALLY?!?)

So, here I sit, thinking the Ace Hardware store might still be open, but unable to motivate enough to make that trip. But I will. And I hope it works. Because this is a new year, a new birth, and I want to reunite Baby Jesus with his Roberts nativity family.

I want to spring Baby Jesus! I want the Roberts birthday celebration tradition to resume.

I want to strive to keep Christ in Christmas as much as possible, and, for me, that means Baby Jesus making His miraculous appearance in the world and in my dining room nativity scene...

Gingerbread Dreams

Lily and I were among the lucky women and girls in my family invited to the lovely home of my Aunt Dawn and her family today for a Gingerbread House Party. It really is a beautiful home (see Exhibit A above,) and a it's a joy to be a guest there.


Today's task was to celebrate Christmas in a crafty, delicious and creative way. Each girl, with an adult helper, decorated a gingerbread house. Any of you who know Lily know that this is her dream come true! She had a blast, and I had a blast helping her!


Not only did she get to eat sweets and make them into something beautiful, but she got to spend time with her cousin-sister, Julia, and other little girls in the family.


Her house turned out very sweet, complete with Santa waiting near the chimney, street lamps, a fruit-by-the-foot sidewalk and a lovely exterior Christmas tree.


We Strahler women also had several practice sessions in preparation of Christmas music performances we have coming up in the next two weeks. My only regret was not having a camera handy to capture the sweet little girl faces peering curiously into the room as we rocked out Amy Grant and Josh Groban songs as only a group of Strahler women can.


Thanks, Aunt Dawn, for your wonderful party talents and excellent hostess ability. We really enjoyed celebrating Christmas the way it should be celebrated: with family, good food, wholesome crafting and yummy treats!

Deck the Halls

I've had a great weekend of friends, family, snow, shopping, decorating and getting reacquainted with my hunky husband. Life is so good, but I am exhausted.

So I'm going to serve you this photo of my loves in front of our decorated Christmas tree: today's biggest accomplishment. Thanks to my mom, I have a camera on loan to use until mine comes back from its second attempt at repair. (Thanks, Mom!)

Won't be long 'til Christmas, and we are almost ready! I hope to have at least a week or so to just relax and enjoy it!

Sounds of the Season

I'm not afraid -- at all -- to admit that I already have about a month, or even six weeks, of Christmas music in my system. That's right, folks. I think I heard my first strains of my absolute favorite Christmas album -- "Home for Christmas" by Amy Grant -- in the last couple days of September.

I've said it for years and I'll say it again: I love too many Christmas albums to listen to them only a month. It's usually two months for me, but this year, it's three. Now, I can't take the hard-core holiday stuff yet, but the Godly stuff? The beautiful ballads that remind me of singing with my family at church on Christmas Eve? You better believe it!

I really love Christmas, and it isn't because of the presents. For me, it truly is about Christ and family and how each of us has that chance, every year, to stand outside in the crisp, cold, fresh air on Christmas Eve and to realize we really are just a small speck of humanity in a big world on a blessed night. I love the way concessions are made for people to be with family, to be away from work (hopefully) and to be a child again, if only for awhile.

So I think that's part of my love affair with holiday music. My memories seduce me time and time again, and I relish the fact that I'm given the privilege to help to make those special memories now for my children.


I remember the 8-track in the old Chevrolet Impala we had as kids blaring All that I want is to know that you love me and this will be my finest Christmastime and, funny enough, on the same mix, Feliz Navidad, próspero año y felicidad / I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart on the way home from selecting the year's live Christmas tree.


There's the memory of stifling giggles with my sister when I was ten or so and singing at church, What child is this, who laid to rest? Where ox and ass are feeding...


There are the years of music with my dad, who bought every single "Very Special Christmas" album and blared it throughout the season. These albums kept me exposed to Christmas music from all genres, be the artist Sheryl Crow, Tevin Campbell or Run DMC. It was December 24th on Hollis Avenue in the dark / When I see a man chillin' with his dog in the park / I approached very slowly with my heart full of fear / Looked at his dog, oh my God, an ill reindeer....


There are also the memories of Kenny and Dolly's classics greeting my siblings and I as we descended the stairs on Christmas mornings in junior high and high school. Christmas without you / White Christmas and I'm blue / Like fireworks with no fuse / Christmas without you....


Just today I listened to the Chipmunks Christmas twice with Max and Colby. And let's not forget the Muppets. These are the fibers of my childhood Christmas memories.


I try not to be a stick in the mud. I am always looking for new holiday music to love. Last year, it was Sugarland and this year, just as soon as I get a chance, I'm buying the Indigo Girls new holiday CD.


I'm in the mood and in the spirit; there's no doubt about it. 


I guess the Christmas song that sums it up best for me right now is Amy Grant's "Grown-Up Christmas List." (It's been done by many artists, but I gotta go with Amy...)


No more lives torn apart / That wars would never start / That time would heal all hearts / And everyone would have a friend / And right would always win / And love would never end / This is my grown-up Christmas list....


This really is my grown-up Christmas list: that we all know the blessings that have been bestowed upon us, that we treat each other with respect and dignity, that we always have the courage to do the right thing and that the world we leave our children is better than the one we've known. 


A very early merry Christmas to you and yours!