September Eve

The months are sliding by, bleeding into one another in shades of color, amazing me with their quickness. I am aware of changing seasons, lengthening limbs and growing minds. I'm torn between being appreciative and satisfied with what I have and with believing I must dream and want for more.

I'm fine.

Here's a rare snap of me and my babies. I use the term with endearment. It does not escape me that my babies are growing up. One day, God willing, they will all be taller than me.

I'll be their little momma. I'll be wrinkled, peaceful and happy. Maybe I'll be a best-selling author. I'll mentor whoever lets me. In short, I'll be me, but to borrow from the PBS slogan, I'll "be more."

Tonight, on this September eve, at this moment in time, I am sated. This day has been full; I have lived it well. My children are all asleep, my hubby is watching a strange, artsy movie on TV (but in the kitchen now for his snack), and I'm running my typical communication headquarters from my cozy corner of the couch with a hot cocoa on deck. As Lucas grows up a little, I am starting to incorporate more of the nonessential but enjoyable activities into my everyday life. I am tying on my running shoes everyday, whether I run, walk on my lunch break, or simply wear them on marathon grocery shopping trips with two babies assisting. It's the reminder I need to make an effort to move in the right ways to feel better. After I post this blog, I'm going to see about getting some long-overdue prints ordered. I'm going to remember to kiss my husband more.

And I'm going to get to bed, ASAP, I promise. Ha. I won't get enough sleep tonight, just as I haven't for many, many nights running. But September will come all the same. And then it will go. And the months will file past in turn. I'll be here through them all, loving and nurturing and thinking and dreaming and writing and walking and living.

Happy September Eve.

Homebound

Wow, it sure has been a rainy, lazy kind of day. It's fall slipping away, and the holidays settling in.

I'm still home from work with Max, who is doing better. He's getting harder to understand, though, if that is possible. And he's just now starting to feel well enough to have a slight attitude. Mainly he's a kid on drugs. Very strange acting. Drinking, but not eating. And man, does he love his momma! He wants me sitting, laying or snuggling with him on he couch all the time.

Mr. Colby, who I've been referring to as a monster, has his own ideas about how to help Max recover. He "kisses" with open-mouthed slobbers that Max insists are bites; he happily throws toys and has hit Max square in the head at least three times; and he likes to wake Max if he's feeling lonely. But today was much better than yesterday. Maybe it was the rain. Both boys took two-hour naps, and I joined in for about an hour and had lunch in peace before they woke up!

I also started my Christmas wrapping today. I think I got only seven or eight presents wrapped, but a little productiveness goes a long way sometimes.

Overall, I'm feeling peaceful and quiet. I feel myself transitioning along with the weather. Thanksgiving is next week already, and it feels like the calendar is full, or full enough for me.

Oh, and the monster broke my camera somehow, so I'm hoping it's back in time for all of the holiday business. Dave captured the perfect shot of me, asleep on the couch with my big belly, Colby asleep in my left arm and on my lap with a wayward sippy cup and my right arm resting on Max's sleeping figure. And if I had gotten a copy of that downloaded to the laptop before the camera quit working, it would be today's banner image. But, as it is, I think this early-morning shot Max captured of me a couple of months ago fits the bill.

I'm thankful today for so many things. Among them are sick leave, peace of mind, codeine and an awesome, warm house in which to ponder my life.

It's amazing.