Unrequited Pecan Pie

My life caught up with me.

There's been a standing offer for a prize for the person who found the source of a "locker room" smell in my house this week. I cleaned, I searched, I concluded it must be the dampness or the wet kitchen towels that had to wait too long to be washed. On Friday, I took to the basement to look for the booster seat Colby needs that I must have sold in a yard sale and found the problem.

The ancient upright deep freeze door had been open for twelve days. Twelve. Days. Ick.

While trying to get out of the house with my brood to head to a get-together at my aunt Shel's, I had asked Max to go in the basement to get a pecan pie out of the freezer. Lily raced ahead and got it herself, with a mad Max trailing and Colby bringing up the rear. In the end, two boys were crying, a girl victorious, and, unbeknownst to all of us, the freezer door had not been shut properly in the fray. (And we didn't even end up needing the pecan pie, so it was all for naught.)

This is where I thank God for my husband, who took care of the entire problem with no assistance from his raw-meat-hating wife. Thank. You. Shrek. I love him for being strong enough to take care of the deer meat, the corn, the things he found that he said must have been in there for the entire eight years or so of our deep freeze ownership. That's all I'm going to say about that.

But I think my thaw came with the deep freeze thaw as well. I'm feeling more human these days. The pall has lifted yet again. I have had an insanely busy weekend, and the next three weeks are nothing but go time.

My plan is to keep my head up, keep my heart in it and get through it. I'm going to pause when I can for hot tea, fall candles, moments of clarity and the people who make my life an incredible, blessed journey.

And I'm going to keep a better eye on not only the open doors in front of me, but the ones that should be closed as well.

Welcome, Lucas Anthony!

Here's our little man, Lucas Anthony Roberts! He is now five days old and doing well. We had a pretty good birth experience. It was not my best, by far, but it ended with a healthy momma and a healthy baby, and, for that, I am ever grateful.

Let me tell ya, it got a little scary in there! Lucas's umbilical cord was wedged between his head and the bottom of the uterine wall. While I dilated to nine and he tried to engage in the birth canal, his oxygen and blood supply were repeatedly cut off, causing alarming drops in his heart rate. Long story short, this champion VBAC mother (with two successful attempts) ended up in her second Cesarean section surgery. It was not ideal, and I was very upset at the time, but most of that was fear that I wouldn't deliver a healthy baby boy, while I certainly did. All my thanks and great love to the OB team for making the right decision when it needed to be made!

Here's a shot of Shrek and I getting our first glimpse of our little Luke.


I felt ROUGH at the time of the surgery but was lucky to have both my husband and sister in the operating room with me. They were such an awesome support team! Here's a photo of me with Luke after all my worst fears were dashed and my final, healthy babe was placed in my arms!


The kids had to wait until the next day to see him. They were thrilled with him both at at hospital and at home.


Unfortunately, Luke and I landed back in the hospital yesterday afternoon because of his bilirubin levels. I was quite surprised, as he is nursing well and none of the other kids have had trouble like this.


Suffice it to say that between the C-section and the looonnnnngggg night alone with Luke in the hospital, this mother warrior has risen. I am tired and recovering. But I surprise even myself with what I am able to do.

There's so much more to say, as I'm sure there will be countless times over the next few months. But, if you'll excuse me, I must go shower, catch a bit of sleep and nurse my new babe as much as possible so that we prevail victorious at tomorrow's follow-up bilirubin check. It feels very good to have all of my chicks in the nest here at home.

These are my reasons, and I couldn't be more proud!

Homebound

Wow, it sure has been a rainy, lazy kind of day. It's fall slipping away, and the holidays settling in.

I'm still home from work with Max, who is doing better. He's getting harder to understand, though, if that is possible. And he's just now starting to feel well enough to have a slight attitude. Mainly he's a kid on drugs. Very strange acting. Drinking, but not eating. And man, does he love his momma! He wants me sitting, laying or snuggling with him on he couch all the time.

Mr. Colby, who I've been referring to as a monster, has his own ideas about how to help Max recover. He "kisses" with open-mouthed slobbers that Max insists are bites; he happily throws toys and has hit Max square in the head at least three times; and he likes to wake Max if he's feeling lonely. But today was much better than yesterday. Maybe it was the rain. Both boys took two-hour naps, and I joined in for about an hour and had lunch in peace before they woke up!

I also started my Christmas wrapping today. I think I got only seven or eight presents wrapped, but a little productiveness goes a long way sometimes.

Overall, I'm feeling peaceful and quiet. I feel myself transitioning along with the weather. Thanksgiving is next week already, and it feels like the calendar is full, or full enough for me.

Oh, and the monster broke my camera somehow, so I'm hoping it's back in time for all of the holiday business. Dave captured the perfect shot of me, asleep on the couch with my big belly, Colby asleep in my left arm and on my lap with a wayward sippy cup and my right arm resting on Max's sleeping figure. And if I had gotten a copy of that downloaded to the laptop before the camera quit working, it would be today's banner image. But, as it is, I think this early-morning shot Max captured of me a couple of months ago fits the bill.

I'm thankful today for so many things. Among them are sick leave, peace of mind, codeine and an awesome, warm house in which to ponder my life.

It's amazing.