Sunday, March 6, 2011
Going Through It
It's been a somewhat long weekend of keeping four kids fed, bathed and happy while running to several different social functions. I had fun in showing off our new beautiful boy, as well as some of our new photos, to family and friends.
Some of the family in town included my youngest uncle and his wife, who are expecting their third in a matter of weeks. When we parted ways today I jokingly told him to feel free to call us for advice anytime and that we would tell him we didn't have any. And then I said the truth: "There's no easy way around it, you just gotta go through it."
Because sometimes the growing pains are excruciating. The baby's cries added to the radio and the random squeals and protests and singsong voices of older siblings in the car can be just deafening. Sometimes finding peace and sanity is no more realistic than winning the lottery. And, sometimes, you can't remember why you married the person you married.
But then you remember. The older brother lets the baby suck on his finger and the crying stops. The squealer falls asleep. You push away the fog of your bad mood to accept the random kiss your husband offers as you pass, again, in the hall, sometimes like ships in the night.
And, just as quickly, the peace is broken. Somebody hits somebody, milk spills on the carpet, a forehead slams into a doorjamb, or any combination of similar catastrophes.
At times, the minutes pass like hours. Yet, somehow, there's never enough time to get it all done. The to-do list grows almost, but not quite, as fast as your cluster-feeding nursing newborn. The hard thing--as if there is only one--is finding that balance between getting through the day and not wishing time away.
Because I believe what they tell me. I'll want these little people back. I'll miss the handprints on my windows, the smell of the tousled hair rubbing up against my nose, the sheer softness of their skin and the simplicity of their thinking.
So I'm going to keep on keeping on. I'm going to remember one of my many mantras: faith, grace and selflessness. I'm going to go back to work when I must, and burn the candle at both ends to make it all work.
And I'm not even going to try to get around it. I'm going to go through it, and I'm going to make sure I make it worthwhile.
Thanks, again, to the lovely Kristin Pottmeyer for these amazing photos.