Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Leaving My Footprint

I'll be slipping into bed soon with mixed feelings on the day. I can't even believe I'm saying that given the success I had in getting things done, namely, my first real workout in a long time. I also juggled an unusually fussy baby with batting emails back and forth with my best friend and bride-to-be, designing and ordering birth announcements and thank you cards and making dinner for my extended family. While I did some of that, the boys--okay, Max--finger and toe painted my kitchen linoleum blue. Blue is his favorite color.

I think, from the looks of Colby, that he may have helped just a wee bit. (And, in the mess of the cupboard, he found a binky, which I've been limiting...)

I have been keenly aware of my place in this world lately. Right now, it is home with my newborn and family. I find my happiness and success in making a complete meal every night, keeping house and growing children. Alas, I can't be on paid leave forever. If I could, I would.

Because there is so much joy in a home. In making a place yours. In spending the day with your kids, who are perfectly imperfect.

And I think that's where I am going with this.

The daughter of friends is battling brain cancer and a young girl in the next town lost her battle today with a similar brain cancer. And a day of helping my first-grader make the bus stop on time, playing hot potato with my crying newborn just to get a moment with both hands free, and throwing two healthy, raucous boys into the tub again after they paint my kitchen floor blue? It's paradise. Really.

And so, in spite of all the good in today, my heart is heavy for others. As someone said of the little girl that passed away, "Her wings will take her where her feet could not."

But we're all still here. Where will our feet take us?

While I'm still not sure how far I'll go, it is my hope that my footprint will be one of gratitude, of happiness and of love. Life really is beautiful, just the way it is.

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