Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Mother Load
Please excuse my absence around here lately, but I have have been busy getting ready for a mammoth yard sale, among other things. I kid you not, in the past week, I have not only returned to work three days a week, but fed a newborn, gotten myself to the doctor for some antibiotics, survived a difficult neighborhood situation, managed my household, mothered four children, grown closer to my hubby and priced thirty totes of yard sale items. You read that right.
Thirty. Totes. 3-0.
And I'm not done yet.
So please excuse the mess in my home, my head and my heart. Most of those totes are of baby girl, toddler girl, little girl and big girl clothes. My girl's clothes. I do not deny that some of those totes were very hard to sift through. I've said it before and I'll say it again. My baby girl, my first baby and only girl, taught me how to truly give of myself. To become a mother, I had to give of myself in so many ways, so many times, ALL the time. And those clothes were all worn on that little creature, who grew and grew and who now stands just less than a foot shorter than me at the tender age of seven.
It's almost too much.
This week has been a week of growth. I've truly experienced that feeling that mothers of older children tell me all the time. "You'll miss this." "I still yearn for my children in baby form." "They grow so fast! Enjoy these baby days."
I'll even go so far as to say I had several of those "Sunrise, Sunset" moments where I stood at the table touching those clothes, remembering pictures and days, and watching my now half-grown Lilith fly through the back door in her impatient, sassy way and just blinking, blinking, blinking at her in amazement. That firstborn, much-loved babe grew up. She won't stop!
I'm keeping a big old box of clothes for me, and I'm yearning to take my girl on a special outing soon. Just us. I want to remember to be less hard on her, to not expect too much of her, to let her be as self-centered and needy as she wants. Because it won't be long until she thinks a day out with mom is subpar to time with friends. She won't be so free in her expressions of love. She has grown so much in seven years, and I can't even imagine what seven more will do.
I know those of you who are mothers are understanding this raw, real place I'm coming from. And, like a feather in your cap, please take this away tonight: They are right. It's true. You're gonna miss this. Keep surviving and thriving in your mommy caps. Get through the day to day, the nights paying bills, wiping fevered brows. Drink it up. And don't just save the memories. Swim around in them as often as you can.
And, if you're local and especially if you have a little girl or are expecting a baby soon (four totes of maternity!), check out the mother of a sale Thursday and Friday on Main in Waterford.
And, if you see that I need one, please pass me a tissue while you shop.